What is it like?

Occasionally, when I mention that I started Crossfitting I am asked, "What's it like? I hear it's pretty hard."

Trying to explain what Crossfit is like is like trying to explain to a desert nomad what it's like to swim in Lake Michigan; you have to do it to truly understand.

However....

I will describe to you what it's like for me. Hopefully, you'll gain some insight from that. Usually, the process begins the night before and continues until I have actually completed the workout.

Evening, the Night Before a Workout: Ho-lee crap! He expects me to do pullups? I can barely pull up my socks, let alone pull my fat behind up to a bar! And Burpees? I HATE Burpees! I look like an elephant seal trying to make to the water! Oh shit, Wall Balls? Better get the barf bag ready.

Morning, Day of the Workout: Okay, 8 hours of work and it's off to Crossfit. It's gonna suck, but I'm not going to get any better sitting on the couch watching the tube. I wonder what's on? Is NCIS on? I can't miss the mid-season finale! Maybe I'll, skip today and go tomorrow!

Lunch Time, Day of the Workout: Half the day gone and only four hours until Crossfit. Funny, I'm not as tired today as I usually am by this time. My feet and back are actually feeling pretty good. I could probably skip today and it wouldn't hurt me.

Quitting Time Day of the Workout: Here is my exit to go home. All I have to do is turn here and I'll be warm and comfy on my couch snuggling up to the missus and catching up on NCIS. (Sigh) And I'll still be the same lump of disappointment that I was yesterday. Okay, no more excuses, nothing to it but to do it.

Entering Crossfit, Twenty Minutes Before the WoD Begins: Wow! These people look miserable! Thank GOD! I thought I was the only one that looked like that when I was working. Good Lord! That guy is in incredible shape and he's laying on the floor like he's dead. This one must be a smoker!

Workout Begins: Ya know? I might flirt with that woman if it weren't for two obstacles; 1) I'm a happily married man and 2) Judging by the way she's tossing that ball, she'd probably stomp me into a bloody mush if I offended her. How can someone that small generate that much power?

Five Minutes Into Workout: How did I get so weak??? When did I lose my ability to lift myself off the floor? I think I'm going to suggest that they have oxygen tanks somewhere around here because I sure as hell need some right now. I think they mis-marked this ball; it says '14' on it, but I swear it weighs '50'. If I can just get through this without throwing up on that woman in front of me, I'll consider this a success.

Ten Minutes Into Workout: I think with the next Burpee, I'll just stay on the floor until my blood stops burning. Uh-oh, the coach is yelling at me. What? 'Good job?' Haven't you been watching me? I can't even keep up with the scrawny, little, woman in front of me. Well crap! If she can toss that ball up there, I can do a couple of more Burpees.

Workout Complete: I feel like a wet noodle that's been run over by a truck. I should have realized that I'm in no condition to workout! Still, I managed to throw that wall ball a little better today. And the Burpees didn't hurt as much today as they did last week. Plus, skipping rope during the warm-up was waaay easier. As soon as I can talk in complete sentences, I'll be ready to go. I sure like the way people encourage each other around here.

Home After the Workout: Wow, I feel great! I haven't felt this good for a while. I did okay, too. I made it and achieved most of my goals. I'll work harder next time. I wonder what's in store for the next workout? Ho-lee CRAP! Front Squats??? What madman devises these workouts? Why not just waterboard us and get it over with???